This: "I didn’t know at the beginning that life might someday stack your heartbreak one on top of the other, and leave it for you to sort through like some fucked up card catalog of letting go." When I was on the edge of 17 I worked in a library where the card catalog was made of...cards. It feels like both just a few years ago and the 4 decades it's been. You capture that feeling so masterfully here.
I don’t know how we survive all the losses, but I know part of it is the people who shoot flares into the sky when things get really dark, and you’re one of those people for me, and you can bet I’m going to keep shooting flares, too. And if that ever stops working, I’ll be the person knocking on the door with pizza. Whether you want it or not.
Yes, this brought the feels. Edge of seventeen. So glad we don't know what lays ahead. At seventeen I was getting high long before pot was legal, and my biggest thrill was the rock concerts we attended. That was before nursing school, an abusive boyfriend, a child I gave up, a crappy husband and a long awaited divorce which shook all the foundations to the core. But still yes, there was love. My mom who died young, my dad who died old. My kids, the ones I kept, and the one I didn't and my beloved pets who cancer got the best of them. But now, true love, my first love. Back in my life. My forever. Thanks for this writing Kate. It is beautiful.Jennifer.
I believe really hard in love that circles back. Thanks for sharing that yours did, and thanks for reading and commenting, Jennifer. We lived parallel lives in many ways.
I have been listening to, and singing the song Heal by Tom Odell and this post puts me in the same place as that song. Both invoke the image of being completely open to the healing power of rain, which was already a powerful image for me. Heal opens with the lyric "Take my mind and take my pain, like an empty bottle takes the rain. And heal." Here's a link to the song with the lyrics:
This hits hard. I know 2 sisters that grew up as best friends and at any moment I could get the message by text that the older, not by much, is gone. The older I get the more of these messages I get. I know people don't want to talk when their heart is broken. I also had a text in January that a close friend was gone. I remember when we told people these things on a telephone or drove to tell them in person. I remember when I could afford a daily newspaper and found out that way. For many reasons I am hating my cell phone.
This was as beautiful as everyone said it would be. And then all I could think was, “NOT RIGGS!!!!!” 😢 sending all kinds of radical and ridiculous hope for glories in the midst of it.
Thanks and beautifully said…Love is at the heart of it all. I wish it didn’t have to be accompanied by such pain, but so it is, at least for now. And yes, sign me up for more of all of it. Peace.
This: "I didn’t know at the beginning that life might someday stack your heartbreak one on top of the other, and leave it for you to sort through like some fucked up card catalog of letting go." When I was on the edge of 17 I worked in a library where the card catalog was made of...cards. It feels like both just a few years ago and the 4 decades it's been. You capture that feeling so masterfully here.
Thanks, Rita. And thanks for spending some time with my words.
I don’t know how we survive all the losses, but I know part of it is the people who shoot flares into the sky when things get really dark, and you’re one of those people for me, and you can bet I’m going to keep shooting flares, too. And if that ever stops working, I’ll be the person knocking on the door with pizza. Whether you want it or not.
I love pizza. I never don’t want pizza. And if it involves pizza, matches, lighting flares, you— I’m in. xo
Oh good. Because I would have kept knocking, and then I would have tried a window. Much better this way xo
Yes, this brought the feels. Edge of seventeen. So glad we don't know what lays ahead. At seventeen I was getting high long before pot was legal, and my biggest thrill was the rock concerts we attended. That was before nursing school, an abusive boyfriend, a child I gave up, a crappy husband and a long awaited divorce which shook all the foundations to the core. But still yes, there was love. My mom who died young, my dad who died old. My kids, the ones I kept, and the one I didn't and my beloved pets who cancer got the best of them. But now, true love, my first love. Back in my life. My forever. Thanks for this writing Kate. It is beautiful.Jennifer.
I believe really hard in love that circles back. Thanks for sharing that yours did, and thanks for reading and commenting, Jennifer. We lived parallel lives in many ways.
Damn, you can deliver a final line, my friend.
Love creosote, love the edge of 17. Sending love your way.
Sending some right back, Holly. Thanks for being here.
I have been listening to, and singing the song Heal by Tom Odell and this post puts me in the same place as that song. Both invoke the image of being completely open to the healing power of rain, which was already a powerful image for me. Heal opens with the lyric "Take my mind and take my pain, like an empty bottle takes the rain. And heal." Here's a link to the song with the lyrics:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuqD5aYg2jU
Your writing always hits me so hard. In a good way.
Thank you for all of this Lori. I really appreciate you being here.
This hits hard. I know 2 sisters that grew up as best friends and at any moment I could get the message by text that the older, not by much, is gone. The older I get the more of these messages I get. I know people don't want to talk when their heart is broken. I also had a text in January that a close friend was gone. I remember when we told people these things on a telephone or drove to tell them in person. I remember when I could afford a daily newspaper and found out that way. For many reasons I am hating my cell phone.
I hear that. Sometimes I want to bury my phone in the desert. Thanks for reading this Mary. Sending a solidarity hug your way.
Amazing. I feel this so hard though that blacktop is pitted and heaving.
I hear that. Thanks for reading it. I appreciate it.
This may be my favorite of all your essays so far. And that's saying a lot. Love it.
Thanks Julie.
The stuff you write… the way you write…always brings the tears!
🤍
This was as beautiful as everyone said it would be. And then all I could think was, “NOT RIGGS!!!!!” 😢 sending all kinds of radical and ridiculous hope for glories in the midst of it.
Thanks Ash. I appreciate your good wishes.
Oh, Katie... This price for love is too high. But what would we be without it? Walking with you, from too far away...
Thanks, friend. I don’t mind the cost. I dread the absences, but I’ll always remember the love.
Thanks and beautifully said…Love is at the heart of it all. I wish it didn’t have to be accompanied by such pain, but so it is, at least for now. And yes, sign me up for more of all of it. Peace.
Thanks, Robert. I appreciate your kindness.
With you, Kate on the edge. Gentle and loving care to that fierce and ferocious heart of yours. ❤️🔥
You’ve been out here with me a long time, Joanie. I’m grateful for your company. Sending a big hug.
I love you sissy ❤️
More, sissy. ❤️
Gorgeous painful prose. Hurt and nourished me in all the right places. Thank you for sharing this today! 💕🌼💪🏽
Thank you for reading it and sharing. I appreciate it.
Oh, Kitten...
big love from east coast, woman.
Thanks Cheryl. I appreciate it.